I can't imagine what trying to play a BlazBlue game on the 360 is like. I hope I never find out.
This post is different than the past few in that I haven't actually completed SF4's achievements. I never will. That's not me being pessimistic, that's me being realistic. My achievement OCD is not firing on this, I am not going to kill myself trying to do them. But I'm still doing a post about them. Why? A few reasons. One, I'm insanely frustrated at the game at the moment, and this will help clear my head. Two, I want to talk about the matchmaking system a little and why it seems to be completely broken at the moment. And three, because all fighting games have terrible achievements and I want to go a little more in-depth as to what I mean by that.
I have three characters I play regularly. In order of how often I play them (in Ultra) it's Dan, Poison, and Juri. Dan I picked because I like joke characters, and you'll never piss off someone more than when you body them with the joke character. Poison because of who she is... and maybe because her pirate outfit is pretty rad. Juri I don't play much now, but in previous iterations of SF4, she was as close to a 'main' as I ever had. Problem is, they took away her dive kick when she's jumping backwards. Don't teach people to avoid or counter that, just erase it from the game. That's good decision-making, right?
Poison I'm having trouble with. Again, it's mostly due to the 360's squishy dpad. She has a Rekka and those are hard to mash out on it. It's a good move, but I rarely use it. I've basically stopped playing her, and only return if I get bodied really hard by someone while playing as Dan.
Dan is an oddity. I play a jokey Dan, but I also try to actually win with him. And what I mean is this - I will taunt as often as I can get away with. Specifically, I use the taunt where he spins around and slaps his own ass a couple times, then wiggles it. Because it's Xbox Live and because people hate that Dan, of all characters, just knocked them down, they'll almost always respond with something on wakeup, and then you get a free hit in. I'll also just run backwards constantly and, when they start to move in, I'll do HK Dankukyaku. Somehow, despite the move being slow to come out, it almost always connects.
I'm not good at the game, let's get that outta the way early here. I'm never good at fighting games. I simply don't have the reflexes necessary to play at a high level. But, as scrubby as I am, my Dan is hovering in the 220s as far as rank goes. I'd like to get into top 200, but I don't think that'll happen for a long time. Trying to climb the ladder as Dan is a shorter journey than most, simply because few people play him. But it still leads to frustration at times. When you keep getting loss after loss, it starts to affect your play. You can try going into Arcade Mode to get achievements or just blow off steam, but that can be equally frustrating.
So, what makes it all so bad? Let's go down the list. I'll only be color-marking the worst of the bunch since, again, I haven't gotten a good deal of these. Just because I can't get them doesn't mean I can't review them, though.
Important Edit: So I did a dumb thing when I wrote this article - I wrote up the base game's achievements, not realizing that Capcom scrapped those and implemented a fresh achievement list with Super SF4. I was getting very confused at thinking of how you'd get things like the 'Unlock All Characters' achievement if you started in Ultra. I've decided to scrap the base game section and write Super's up instead, as that list is the one AE and Ultra continue add to. I'll try and remove references I make to stuff I was confused about - getting Medals or unlocking Gouken, things like that. But if I miss one, that's the reason it doesn't make any sense.
Don't write while angry. It causes you to make mistakes. I even knew something was off because from Super on, the achievement descriptions are really long and dumb, whereas the base game just had straightforward descriptions of what you do to get the achievements. I didn't think about it, and I didn't pop the game open to check and find out what was going on.
In short, apologies for oddities caused by re-doing a giant chunk of the article. Being tired and mad and hungry is not a good set of things to be when writing a long blog post like this one. This is also why the Super section does not have commentary that's very in-depth. At this point, I just want to get some lunch, and I'm possibly more pissed off than I was when I started. I'd calmed down by the time I was doing my wrap-up at the bottom, then I realized what I'd done, and now I've been sat here for about 2 hours for an article that isn't going to make much sense and I still have a lot of writing and editing to do.
Not only are fighting game achievements bullshit, but stuff like this is nothing short of infuriating.
Super Street Fighter IV Achievements
Absolute Perfection: Lauren's waiting, so how about you finish your fights quickly and get 30 Perfects. Sound good? -- Getting Perfects is fairly rare, but it happens. This'll take time, but isn't obscenely hard or anything.
All Clear: To get strong takes lots of fighting! Clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher with all characters! -- This is a pisser. Arcade Mode is a pain to beat with characters you're good with. This is going to be one of those that takes forever and annoys the hell out of you the entire way.
Barrel of Laughs: No need for barrels without oil! Score 110,000 points or more in the Barrel Buster bonus stage! -- I don't play Arcade that often, but it seems like the 110K is cumulative. I started in the 40,000s and it seems like it's going to hold that score as I go. Dumb, but if you're going for All Clear, you'll probably get this along the way.
Battle Master: Only winners can attain such beauty. Win 30 Xbox LIVE matches and I may share my beauty secrets. -- 30 wins is a pretty low number. This is something you could get within the first day or two.
Bring it on!: No comrade, this will not do! We must become stronger, for our fans! Fight 100 Xbox LIVE matches! -- And this is a first-week achievement. Maybe first day or two if you're really committed to playing a lot.
Clear Headed: Hey! Got time to kill? Try to clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher! That's all you gotta do! -- Nothing too tough here. Take your best character and try not to have an aneurysm when you get to Seth's input-reading ass.
Dan the Man: Mastery of the Saikyo arts requires mastery of the Personal Action! Collect 'em all, punk! -- I want to say you get new taunts just by playing as dudes. Pick a new taunt, use it in a match, get new taunt, repeat, right? This is a time sink more than anything.
Endless Lobbyist: It's only natural for warriors to seek fights! Create 30 Endless Battle lobbies! -- I don't have this because no one seems to play anything but Ranked in Street Fighter. Maybe I'm wrong. Still, if the achievement pops just for creating and not actually playing, you could scum this one pretty quickly by making then leaving.
Endless Ten: Throw away your fears and focus on the fight! Win 10 fights in a row in Endless Battle! -- Like any 'win X in a row' thing, this is down to either luck or boosting. Take your pick.
Entitled: A Title does not tell all of a man, sir, but if I were to see one Title, I'd want them all... -- I wanna say there are over 400 of these damn things, but I can't recall. Super may have added or subtracted more to the list the base game had and I'm too tired and annoyed to go check. I don't have a ton of them. Thankfully, AE/Ultra had titles and stuff that you didn't have to jump through hoops to unlock.
EXtra! EXtra!: Battle requires courage! Train by using your EX Gauge to successfully land 100 EX Moves! -- You'll be doing EX moves constantly. This is probably a first-day achievement.
Fashion Plate: Even a top rate fighter needs to coordinate properly! You gotta get all of the Colors first! -- Colors and taunts unlock as you use guys. Or as you beat Challenges. Or something stupid like that. Play as a guy, get new dyes, repeat.
First Timer: I'll never forget my first time for Ryu's sake! Win one Ranked Match! Gotta aim for the top! -- This achievement description is gross. And the achievement itself is easy and dumb.
Fivepeat: This is your real power, child? Show me it's not luck by winning 5 Ranked Matches in a row! -- That isn't a word, and this is the same as that Endless thing that required multiple wins in a row. Either hope for the best or get a buddy to let you beat on him.
From C to Shining C: You think you're good, don't you? Prove it by ranking up all characters to C Rank! -- This is the achievement that made me realize Street Fighter 4 and Super Street Fighter 4 had different achievement lists, and it's why I'm crabby and not doing this properly now. This achievement is stupid, as it requires an insane time commitment. I don't know if Capcom updates numbers for things like this, but there's like 44 characters total in Ultra. You can subtract 9 from that if it doesn't need the guys from AE and Ultra. That's still a lot of online fighting. A lot of online fighting.
Good Start: All of nature must withstand a trial. You must clear 10 trials in Trial Mode to succeed. -- Not in a row, not for one guy, just ten. Do the first one of each and you can get this in a few minutes. This is not the problem child here.
Hard Times: To escape death is to beat the strongest of the strong. Finish Arcade Mode on Hardest, kid! -- I don't like fighting game AI. It's not any good here, either. It's artificially difficult because of how it works. Skill has no importance when doing Arcade Mode on the hardest difficulty, it's all about spamming whatever works. At least it lets you continue. Unlike, say...
Herculean Effort: Can you finish Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue? Show me you can! -- If you're trying to get All Clear, you'll pick this up along the way. Take your best guy, fireball some stereotypes, and you're good.
Iconoclast: Oh my gosh, those Icons are so adorable! I gotta find Don-chan and catch 'em all! -- I want a cartoon where Dan and Don-chan fight crime. Anyway, there's a whole bunch of icons - not as many as titles, but still enough to annoy you. Not entirely sure how they unlock, but I'm willing to bet they're tied to Challenges.
It Begins: The fight starts here! Set your Title and Icon, and begin fighting on Xbox Live! -- This is one of those you-get-this-for-free-in-the-first-five-minutes achievements.
It Takes Focus: Your mission, should you wish to join Delta Red, is to connect with 100 Focus Attacks! -- This one is gonna vary, time-wise, on how often you actually use Focus Attacks. I don't use them much since doing FADC stuff is very tough on a controller. I'd rather hit with something else. The free crumple is nice, but your opponent kinda has to just be picking his nose to let you get the full thing off.
Keep on Truckin': If you want to focus on nothing but the fight, entering an Endless Battle is for you! - I got this at some point and have absolutely no memory of it. I only play Ranked, so I dunno what Endless is even really about here. You just go until you lose and then it's that dude's turn? Regardless, easy achievement.
Legendary Fighter: I shall make you the right hand of Shadaloo if you can win 100 Xbox LIVE matches! -- Shadaloooo! Shad-Shadaloooooo! - Listen, if I have to deal with that reference, so do you. This is like a first-week achievement. Winning 100 matches is entirely dependent on if the matchmaking system does what it's supposed to, or if it decides to make you fight the #1 Akuma on Xbox Live despite you picking 'Same Skill' - Happened to me earlier in the week.
Long Time No See: Do you wish for defeat? If so, complete Arcade Mode on Hardest difficulty and beat Gouken! -- So in the base game achievement list I erased when I realized I'd screwed up, I mentioned not knowing what you need to do to fight Gouken these days, since Evil Ryu and Oni also have Hardest difficulty unlock requirements. Apparently the old fart's still in there, waiting to cheese you to death. I dunno if he's basically Shin Gouken like Evil Ryu and Oni are, but good luck if you decide to go chasing after him.
Moving on up: Ya need to do anything to reach the top of the food chain! Let's see a Rank Up via Ranked Match! -- This'll happen fairly quick if you stick with one character. If you're gonna perfect the game, they all need to hit Rank C eventually, so consider this the first step in a long journey.
Now You C Me...: I wrestle only the strong! You shall rank up to C Rank if you wanna face me, comrade! -- And here we have the second major step in that long journey.
Oh! My Car!: Hee hee, destruction is so much fun! Score 80,000 points or more in the Car Crusher bonus stage! -- Street Fighters are dicks to cars. [ding] - I'm pretty sure this works like the barrels, with it holding your score over. If not, I got nothin' for ya here. I don't play Car Crusher often enough to know the mechanics behind it!
Overachiever: Attain all the Achievements! The path of the warrior demands this from those who walk on it! -- This is the Platinum Trophy of the game.
Quarter Up: Fight 30 opponents via Arcade Fight Request. It'd be easy with the right bait, he he. -- Who the hell is this one in the voice of? Now You C Me is obviously Zangief, Legendary Fighter is dictator. Who goes 'he he'? Anyway, go into Training Mode, set Fight Request to On, and just wait a few seconds. It'll take awhile, but this one isn't tough. Also, the name won't make sense to anyone born in the last god damn decade. Do you feel old now, too?
Replayer: Watch 30 Replays via the Replay Channel! Isn't it fun watching people go at it tooth and nail!? -- Grab some popcorn and queue up some matches. Not sure if watching your own matches counts or not. Also not sure if it counts if you watch them while they play during the Upload to Youtube encode.
Rival Schooled: See your future by clearing every Rival Battle on Medium or higher with every character. -- Time sink. Some guys have multiple Rival Battles. Ryu's got Ken and Sagat, at least. Some only have the one. It's random which you get, I believe, so you'll end up playing a lot of Arcade Mode to get this one.
Road to Victory: You wanna get that fight money? You're gonna have to win 10 Xbox LIVE matches first, sucka! -- Is Balrog (boxer) really the type to say 'sucka'? He's the only one yelling about fight money, but he doesn't really talk like that. Oh well. 10 matches is a first-hour-of-playing achievement. It's a freebie.
Special Movement: Do a Special Move 100 times! If you're a true student of the Rindo-kan dojo, it's your duty! - Presumably not the same move 100 times. But maybe. Pick Sagat and Tiger the day away.
Speed Freak: Finish each round in Arcade Mode on Medium or higher in 20 seconds or less. Too easy. -- This one is deceptively evil. This one is purely luck-based. If the RNG decides to fuck with you, you aren't going to get that speed kill, no matter what. You can't even drop the difficulty to make it easier. You might get this one on the way to All Clear, but it might be a grinder, too.
Sunpotter: Amigo, perform 365 Super or Ultra Combo finishes against your opponents! The dawn is coming! -- This'll take awhile. I'm not sure I actually have it yet, to be honest. And I try to U1 my way to victory all the time as Dan. Not difficult, just time consuming. I really need to find a good word to use for that...
Super, Man!: To battle is to win a fight with overwhelming strength! Show me you can do 100 Super Combos! -- I tend to do Supers way less than Ultras, and not just because it takes more setup by way of not using EX moves. Dan's Super is good, but it's a pain to hit guys with it. Boxer has a way better one if you just want to get it done.
Superior Super: Trust your instincts and winning will come easy. Let's begin with 50 Super Combo finishes! -- Speaking of getting it done. Super finishes come way less frequently than Ultra finishes do, at least for me. Again, it's not hard, it's just gonna take awhile.
Team Lobbyist: Hey mon, battlin' is fun, no? Go out and create 30 Team Battle lobbies and enjoy the rhythm! -- Again, not sure if it just means to create them, or to create and then play matches in them. Depending on which it is, this could take a long time or about 1 minute.
Team Mate: Win 1 Team Battle match, and you will learn that teamwork can help you become stronger! -- Not a fan of achievements that are mostly based on other people doing things. This could be over in five minutes or take a week of attempts, it all depends on who's on your team and who you're all fighting against.
Team Player: A 1-on-1 fight is fun, but it's more fun with friends! Try fighting in a Team Battle! -- No, pretty sure it's not more fun. Still, this is a gimme.
Teamworker: A pro can win with any team. Win 10 Team Battles but don't forget, you have to win too! -- Did we mention you have to win, and you also have to win as well?
Tenpeat: Don't hold back your true potential! Win 10 Ranked Matches in a row! -- Purely luck-based. Easier to get when starting out. Probably easiest to find a friend to boost this with. Also, that isn't a god damn word.
This is Madness!: Fighting is fun, huh? Well then, let's aim for 300 Xbox LIVE matches fought, OK buddy? -- Sometimes I wonder what Japanese achievement names and descriptions are. Do they have hackneyed references in them too? Like, is the Japanese version of the This! Is! Sparta! line get referenced? I think about stupid things sometimes. It's just 300 matches fought, there isn't much else to say here.
Three for the Road: In the pursuit of strength, one must have a goal! In Endless Battle win 3 matches in a row. -- That's not a very long-term goal. 3 is also not Endless. Whatever, it's not gonna be that hard to do. If you're shooting for a few other achievements, you're gonna pick this up on the way.
Threepeat: You think being this good is easy? Let's see you win 3 Ranked Matches in a row, champ! -- Still. Not. A word. This is the easiest of them, but it's still all luck-based. Either you get three chumps or you get two jobbers and a psychopath.
Trail of Trials: There is no shortcut in the art of Yoga. Aim to clear any character's Trial Mode trials! -- A step up from beating just 10 of them. This one is considerably harder. I've played SF4 since the original came out, I've never fully completed a guy's trials. It's all BS you'll never memorize or use in an actual fight. And you get a bunch of 1-frame links and perfect-timing nonsense thrown in just to torment you more. It's not fun, it's not a good achievement.
Trial Athlete: I shall assimilate all and be all-powerful! Clear all Trial Mode challenges, and so can you! -- Here's the killer. This is the ender of hunts. This is the 'Clear All Challenges' achievement and it's just as awful and frustrating as any other achievement in the category. Take that stuff from Trail of Trials and multiply it by A Lot. Took you two weeks of off and on attempts to beat Ryu's trials? Cool. Do it 30+ more times. Y'know. For fun. Sometimes I think I need a color above red on the scale. Blue -> Green -> Yellow -> Orange -> Red -> Purple maybe? I think that's what most weather radar maps use to tell you that the storm approaching is going to Ruin Things.
Ultimate Ultra: Candy always says you gotta win with style, so go out there and perform 50 Ultra Combo finishes! -- Who the devil is Candy? Anyway, this one's simple and straightforward.
Ultra, Man!: If yer gonna fight, give it your all, pal. Performing 100 Ultra Combos oughta do it, eh? - You already did that joke! At least this superhero is better than the other one. This one's easier to get than Ultimate Ultra, because you'll do wakeup Ultras and connect way more than you'll finish fights with them.
Wordly Warrior: Let's do this, amigo! Fight 50 Xbox LIVE matches, because that's the only way to become strong! - First week kinda thing. It's basically another gimme unless you're even worse at Street Fighter than I am.
Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition Achievements
Birth of the Oni: To surpass the power of Oni, you must defeat him in Arcade Mode on the hardest setting. -- I'm including the actual achievement text on these from here on just to show you how dumb they are. Anyway, this one's for fighting Shin Oni in Arcade Mode. If you'd like to see how ludicrous this is, go watch Maximilian do it. The description for this achievement should've been: You beat Shin Oni and didn't have an aneurysm! Have 50 gamerscore!
Just Enough!: Dude, just clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue with Yun! Piece of cake! -- I hate Yun. You hate Yun. Tournament players hate Yun. Everyone hates Yun. This achievement, however, is probably the easiest in AE.
New Threads: Use a new Title and Icon, and fight in one Xbox LIVE match. Right on! -- And I meant it when I said that, because despite buying AE, I didn't get this one until Ultra. I didn't end up caring for the new guys, so I never switched my title and icon around. Actually got this achievement when setting up Poison early on.
Overwhelming Power: If you seek power, clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue with Evil Ryu. -- Evil Ryu has risen to become top tier, and while I like him way more than vanilla Ryu (it's the overhead stomp that does it. I like moves that you can feel) he's still kinda boring to play as.
The Awakening: As if you could ever defeat Evil Ryu in Arcade Mode on the hardest difficulty. See for yourself! -- Alright, so Evil Ryu is something similar to Oni. In the video linked in Birth of the Oni, Max actually ends up fighting Evil Ryu completely on accident. Evil Ryu is a little easier to reach than Oni, requiring only 2 Perfects, never losing a round, and beating Seth with a Super or Ultra. Still something you probably aren't likely to see for a long time.
Transcendent: Ascend beyond oneself by clearing Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue with Oni. -- Oni has weird moves. Oni is also fat. Oni is the Bombur of Street Fighter.
Up to Snuff: Clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue with Yang. It's simple! -- And here we are with the last achievement from Arcade Edition. Four for beating the game with the new guys, two for fighting super bosses. There were no Trials included with AE for the new guys, which seemed very cheap at the time. There are still no Trials for Yun, Yang, Evil Ryu, and Oni. So it still feels very cheap! It's not like they didn't have the time! Yang himself is better than Yun, but that mostly might just be me liking him because he sounds like Johnny Yong Bosch and looks like Trowa Barton, I dunno.
Ultra Street Fighter 4 Achievements
A dish best served cold: Follow your anger by clearing Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using continue with Decapre. -- And here they go for Ultra. Five new characters are introduced in Ultra. Which is to say one new character is introduced in Ultra, and it's Decapre. The rest were pulled in from Street Fighter x Tekken, a game so lousy that no one wants to remember that it existed. Decapre is Evil Crazy Cammy, is a charge character, and isn't very good. You could probably cheese out Arcade Mode by mashing Hands.
All For One: Strength in numbers! Gather a team of four and defeat another in any Team Battle! -- I've got no interest in achievements for these games, and it's a good thing, because I doubt anything but Ranked has a reasonable number of players, even this close to the retail copy's launch. Also, nothing says fun like sitting around!
Double Feature: Initiative is everything! Surprise the enemy by using both Ultra Combos in a single Ranked Match! -- Ultra introduced the ability to use both Ultra moves at the cost of a damage drop. Generally not worth it for most. I've never brought W in with it, especially as Dan. The Haoh Gadoken could be setup like the Metsu Hadoken, but again - I can't FADC into it, so I just stick with U1. Elena is the only character off the top of my head that could benefit from W, but that's only due to her U2 being a heal.
For the Utopia!: Assert leadership and clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue with Rolento. -- I do not like Rolento. I like this dude about as much as I do Yun. His moveset is odd, he really needs to spam his Rekka as a combo, and he's just dull as a character. Beating the game on Medium without continuing might not be tough for some, but this would take me a couple days, at least.
Giant Attack: Reach the league's top and clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using continue with Hugo. -- I actually really like Hugo, but I'm awful with grapplers, so I can't use him properly. He's a big wrestleman with the shakes that's voiced by Wataru Takagi yelling out German words. What's not to love about that? Hugo could probably spam down most characters in Arcade Mode. He does so much damage that, of the five new guys, this one's probably the easiest to get!
Good old times: Strong fighter has no fear of change! Defeat your Street Fighter IV self on the Hardest difficulty! -- Okay, so what I'm seeing is that AE/Ultra characters can't be used for this. And I think you can do a one-round You vs CPU versus match to get it. That could be wrong, I may try it sometime to see. Zangief would probably be a good candidate for this one, since the fight would be short, one way or another. Difficulty here's dependent on who you go in as.
The world is my stage: Dance with everyone! Clear the Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using continue with Elena! -- I really, really wanted to like Elena. Instead, I wound up really liking Poison. Elena's moveset just feels strange to me for some reason. She's middle of the road as far as difficulty goes. She's better than Decapre and Rolento, but Poison and Hugo probably have an easier time getting their achievements.
Toxic Beauty: No more mocking! Clear Arcade Mode on Medium or higher without using a continue with Poison. -- I like Poison for many reasons. She pisses off people like Dan does, just for completely different reasons. In general, if someone starts throwing transphobic slurs your way after you beat them with Poison you know you've done a good job. She has a Rekka, and it's just as hard to get consistently on a gamepad, but she has good zoning, an excellent anti-air, and fantastic U1 and Super moves. That said, when facing the AI, none of that matters and you should just focus on spamming whatever works. I've tried a couple of times and I still can't do it. The things I do online simply do not work against cheaty AI.
Ultra Effective: New adventures await! Win a Ranked Match with a character added in Ultra Street Fighter IV! -- Yup, it's just for winning once as one of the new guys. Nothing flashy about it.
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So that's Street Fighter 4 in a nutshell. Most of the achievements can be unlocked through sheer stubbornness or actual skill. Lots require a lot of time invested. Even more require going through modes you don't want to be playing. And some are just brutally difficulty and next to impossible. That sure if a fighting game. Still, we should be thankful. It isn't BlazBlue. I've only ever played Continuum Shift, but the achievement list in that game makes me shudder.
This post took a long time to write (Edit: Especially with the erasing and additional writing I had to do) -- I tend to sit and ponder too much when I type things up. It's been well over an hour, for instance, since I first opened the blog up to begin. Writing these up is an interesting thing. I'm calm again, and looking at them written out and talking about them makes me think it's not as impossible as I initially thought. I'll never do it, of course, but there aren't as many red achievements here than I figured there'd be.
So that was 3 hours of writing I won't get back. I'm not sure I got any/all of the base game references out, but I'm sick of staring at a wall of text on a white background. All in all, Ultra is just another stone in a pond of fighting games with nigh impossible achievements. It's not the first and, sadly, it's not gonna be the last. If you're an achievement hunter, stay away from fighting games. Even if they don't trigger OCD in you, it's still going to annoy you, knowing you'll never perfect them.
